Present or Future?

Yet again a phase of life filled with anxiety, confusion, fear and hope. Of these, as long as hope tops the emotions, it will be good. Should I be prepared to face anything? I guess my preparation is not to face anything, but to strive to keep hopes at the top of the list. Meandering thoughts? No. For a change, it is state of structured, organized and neatly piled up thoughts following a tree model. Binary choice at every node. Binary options at every branch. So it is not exactly a problem of plenty and in a way I should be thankful for that.

Questions rule life

The shades of grey that seem to creep in through these structured thoughts create anxiety and fear. What if? What if not? How should I? Why should I? Questions seem to unfold at every node of the tree structure. The wait is killing. The pain is greater due to the uncertainty rather than any misfortunes. The urge for clarity, the urge to see the bigger picture, the urge to cut through the present to have a look at the future - these are enough to lose sleep. Not exactly sleeplessness, but you get my point, don't you?

If Vairamutthu can give me any solace at the moment, it must be through these lines. 

ஒரு விதைக்குள்ளே அடைபட்ட ஆலமரம் கண் விழிக்கும் 

அது வரை பொறு மனமே !

(Oh heart, wait till the banyan tree that is hidden inside a seed begins to germinate)

Krishna summarizes the feeling beautifully and also gives a solution in Mahabharatham. Here is the link (Tamil).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZkcPrFXPhJA

How tough it is to follow! It is time to focus on the present. Hope the present presents a contented future.