Black Or White

There are times when we all want either a yes or a no,either do or don't,or as i put it now, either Black or white. life is not just about black and white but it's got huge shades of Grey in between. The Grey that confuses,that makes us land up in a dilemma, that just hinders our progress further. The hues of Grey are not always welcome.

The Grey gives a feeling of insecurity. It makes me nervous, frustrates me, and sometimes makes me indecisive. I don't complain about its existence but about its intrusion in my life. Generally I'm very clear about my choices and probably that's why i hate the Grey. It helps us sometimes by giving us the gestation period, to think. But that can't extend for a long time. a decisive Black or white is needed. Of course, there are temporary joys in the Grey. that's the result of false hope. A hope that we give ourselves, that some day, we'll end up with the good. perennial happiness gives much more satisfaction, doesn't it? Now, that's not Grey.


Neither does Black symbolize a bad choice nor does white a good one. But surely, both are better than the Grey. If you ask me if i have the mind set to take in the black or white as it is, and accept them with a whole heart, i guess i have no answer. It's the slight insecurity i have about myself. Or my ability to deal with the negative ( i don't refer to the black or the white). Personally, each has it's own effect. Nevertheless, life has to accept them one day. Let it be TODAY,please.


spare me of the confusion, the intermediate, the Grey.

தெளிவு

தூங்கா விழிகள்
ஓயா உள்ளம்
வலியா உடல்
ஒரு கனவு !


கரைத் தெரியாப் பயணம்
தொலை தூர வெளிச்சம்
கலங்கரை விளக்கம்
ஒரு தேடல் !


நீண்ட காத்திருப்பு
உடையா மௌனம்
பொருள் புரியாப் பார்வை
ஒரு காதல் !


சிலிர்க்கும் புன்னகை
நிலைக்கும் நெருக்கம்
துளிர்க்கும் கண்ணீர்
ஒரு வாழ்க்கை !


இவை
ஒரு நீ !

இவற்றிற்கும் மேல்
ஒரு நான் !

Sour Grapes Theory

What a jackal has taught the humans! The SOUR GRAPES THEORY. All of us would have undergone or will undergo this at least once in life.Also known as adaptive preferences,to sound polished,this attitude is not very uncommon in us.


Now,what is it exactly? Basically, when we want,desire for,or aim at something,we DO believe in getting or achieving it.The probability of the event happening maybe less or more. If it happens, OK, well and good. When it does not happen,there are many ways to take it up. Either as a defeat-sit and cry,or start re-building the fallen pieces or to just try to forget it. It is when we go in for the last choice, the point of ADAPTIVE PREFERENCES creeps in.





Here we will see the 2 sides of this coin. The "chi chi indha pazham pulikum" (this fruit tastes sour") attitude is a kind of escapism that we give ourselves. If we have worked so hard to get it, or dreamed so much about the event happening, how can we degrade our own thoughts and dreams just because we haven't achieved it? Does it mean we've all the way worked for something that's not worth a penny? Is it not a shame to call our dream a "sour grape"? What i try to convey is, by calling it so, we hide behind our negatives and failures and don't think about what should be done about it next. Now this aspect of the theory is bad. It is a pessimistic view.


So, what's the other side of the coin? ADAPTIVE PREFERENCES. It's the same as the SGT except for a tint of positivity.'Yes, I've not achieved this. I've not got it. I've not worked as hard as i should have, or maybe be luck wasn't my side. WHAT IS NEXT?' this question should be the triggering factor. If it's totally gone,Go in for the next alternative, work for it. Changing our preference doesn't mean we are incapable of getting our first priority. We are just switching the options and going in for the next best. Here, we see a shade of optimism. It is this optimism that should and will bring us out of the shell that we crawled into and break the wall that we have built around ourselves.


There can be a wide variety of views and opinions about this topic,but this is how personally it appears and appeals to me.

20-20 !!

Yet another year. Yet another birthday.

No more teens,but does that deter me from being the same? no!

Thank you God,for another year to my life.Thanks to all those who made my day special.
love you all!!

Happy turning 20!

hopefully many more happy returns of the day!!

Me, in short.

My visual DNA

sums me up in short

The game

I'm losing. I know.

I'm still playing,not in the hopes of winning,but because i just want to be a part of the game.

It's unfair to play after losing,i know.I've not lost completely,I'm still losing. I got into it without knowing it's a game.

I don't want to get out of the game. let me keep playing.Trust me,my presence wont affect anyone's chance of winning.I promise.

I know. I AM losing.

Hide And Seek

Across the farthest of lands
Down the nearest of sands
i search slowly
in and out of
the external peace
internal chaos
muffled voices
of a confused heart.
outer serenity
inner hustle
of a troubled mind.

i still search.
a mad rush
a silent hush
bustles out of eternity
an emotional tinge of serendipity.
I look out here and there,
and land up nowhere!

life shows me puzzles,
at times,quite a few.
that's when i realize
I'm hiding me and searching you!

Sigh!

irritated.depressed.confused.unhappy.possessive.
sentimental.immature.silly.helpless.lazy.
frustrated.wronged.hopeless.perplexed.
grumbling.crying.sad.irrational.angry.
pissed off.bored.missing.missed.bugged.
reckless.crazy.doubtful.tough.hurt.insecure.
lost.upset.lonely.out of mood.restless.unthoughtful.
afraid.grieving.illogical.emotional.period

all that I'm now.

sigh.

Hey goodbye nanba!

my blog had been dormant for a couple of weeks and this seemed to be fun!

Rules:
1. Put your MP3 player on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write the name of the song no matter what. No cheating!

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY?” YOU SAY?
"mudhal mazhai ennai nanaithadhe"-bheema..

err...vague!!!

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
"kurai ondrum illai"-M.S.Subbulakshmi

ahem.. :):)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
"nee oru kaadhal sangeetham"-naayagan

oh ya may be the "music" in them!!


HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
"panikaatre"-Run.

long since i have seen panikaatru!!


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
"i wanna be with you"-BSB

yes,may be with "the spl someone"

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
"sariya idhu thavara"-kalloori

sariya pochu!!


WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
'raathiriyil poothirukum thaamarai dhan"
(that rajini song,forgot movie name)

lotus? me? not bad not at all!!!


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
"enna thavam seidhanai"-kaapi,sowmya

now..isn't that supposed to be too much?;-) promise no cheating!!!!!


WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
"vaan megam"-punnagai mannan

hmm...quite so!


WHAT IS 2+2?
"kandukonden kandukonden"

:P answer theriyume!!

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
"kuchi kucchi raakamma"-bombay!
super! she is an olli kuchi only:)


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"snehidhane"-alaipayuthe

cool!


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
"i have a dream"-abba

dreaming throughout my life's story?!


WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
"dance with me"-aaja nach le

dance ? me? !!!


WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
"'ethanai kodi inbam vaithai" -unni krishnan

:-)


WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
"keladi kanmani"-pudhu pudhu arthangal

sonna pecha kekanumo?:)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
"akkam pakkam"-kreedom

but that's not for the "WEDDING"(how can there be "yaarum illaa" in my wedding!!)
isn't it?? :P:P


WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
"jagat janani"-unnikrishnan

oh how i wish!

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
"maja maja"-sillunu 1 kaadhal

err....ore majaa!

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
"kanavaa illai kaatra"-ratchagan

hmm...kanavu :)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
"roobaroo roshni"-Rang De basanti

the "roshni" of my life!


WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?
"Hey goodbye nanba!"

bessttu!

single and sweet !

"hey you know what?those two got committed last week!" "are they close friends or are they really committed?" sigh!! getting committed! that's the buzz word,or sounds so. there has always been this "pair-up" stuff both at high school and college.it's done purely for fun.i understand,and of course enjoy too!! but i don't understand the funda about "getting committed". oh when? at this age? or you think it's the right age? "hey they make a cute pair!" oh yes i agree,but commitment? nay,not much!

when a guy and girl are good pals,fellow students are wise enough to leave it just as a "pair-up" at the maximum. but sometimes the level of closeness does create a stir among the others and they start this "getting committed" topic all over again!! I'm not against fun-talks, in fact i have been paired up and i tease people too.but what about this "rage for commitment"?surely no! after this proposal is accepted, they think getting committed is fun.ya,with the guy gifting you for every(silly) thing,those never ending phone-calls,irresistible looks,the "mushy-mushy" dialogues,those midnight sweet dream message,going out together,cliched beach walks,the thought of him or her while listening to romantic songs,et al. is that all you call commitment? i laugh when people give a pity-look which means,"tchu tchu... you are single is it?not much of charm." best joke!

staying single has it's own advantages people! i need not worry about whether he ate,slept,walked,called me up,messaged and the like.when i have no time to think of myself,there's absolutely no time at all to think for two people! he and me! do you know commitment is hell lot of a responsibility ? especially when you are in the serious talk list.you make a slip of the tongue mistake,it's taken to charge. the doubtful looks and stares that you have to face sometimes even from your own girl/guy, when you talk or exchange pleasantries with some other girl/guy, as the case may be.

no girl is going to give a damn to you if you are not getting into a decent profession with a soaring career.all "mushy-mushy" things that once used to be her fantasy will no longer hold any position other than a waste of time,if you are not an achiever.money is not only what i mean.surely no one will want to lead a mediocre life. same applies to guys too!

for those who think"this girl is mad.you don't know when love will strike you" i say, go!get committed.but first understand what it means to be so.give it a break now my dear! this is the time for many more things that you will want to look back and cherish.follow your dreams,have fun with friends,be passionate,learn lots,read lots,fight,play,love and LIVE!and then get committed.may be, that sounds more like a commitment!

P.S: i will surely inform you when i get committed.right now,staying single seems to be sweeter than anything else in the world!

"BLISS"ful birthday!

today is the first anniversary of my blog-BLISS! i started blogging a year ago just to develop my passion for writing and of course for fun.it served as a lovely platform for me to write and what's more i got new friends! i could pour out anything i felt.sometimes i wrote just for the sake of it.

life,friends,love,people,places,poetry,college,ramblings....my blog became a mixture of things. blogging became so much of fun and now here i am happily celebrating!

thank you BLISS! you are a gift!
happy birthday and hopefully many more to come :)

hey my blog turns one!!!!!!

A Homage

Veteran violin maestro Dr.Kunnakudi R.Vaidyanathan passed away on the 8th of this month.it was a shock for me to see the flash news at 10p.m. Known for his inimitable style and grace in playing the violin he made it possible that even a layman enjoyed his music. forced into music by his father,he was a force for many others to learn in his later years.

as a high-class musician,a composer,a teacher,a performer,he wore many hats.age,illness,whatever be the reason,his demise is a great loss to the music fraternity.he will be remembered by one and all till there is music in the air.

may his soul rest in peace.

What's more!

"i love you sometimes foolishly and that those times i do not understand that i could not,would not,and should not be so absorbing a thought for you,as you are for me".

:-)

happy b'day ganesha!

"வாக்குண்டாம் நல்ல மனமுண்டாம்

மாமலராள் நோக்குண்டாம்

மேனி நுடங்காது பூ கொண்டு

துப்பார் திருமேனி தும்பிக்கையான் பாதம்

தப்பாமல் சார்வார் தமக்கு !!!"

one of the earliest slokaas i learnt!

when i was a baby,amma used to sing "pillayaarappa periyappa! kuttimma va konjam kaappaathu!" in her own made-up tune to make me sleep.those few months when she grew me up.

i was grown up by my grandparents and uncles in my formative years.my grandma's house has this "kutti pillayar" affixed in the compound wall that we usually find outside homes facing a dead end street.i grew up watching my grandpa doing pooja everyday to pillayar that i started calling it "pillayaaruku panradhu" meaning doing pooja to HIM. so everyday, as a little kid,i used to rush outside with fresh flowers grown at home in my hands along with grandpa - "pillayaaruku panradhuku" !! and that's where my affinity towards GOD started!my daily prayers,slokas,bhajans,and even the "poi sonnaa ummaachi kannai kuththum" started with this pillayar only!

little business deals were a common affair.for all that he does for me,a bribery of a coconut or lighting a camphor was all that he expects from me.or maybe,i have asked him to expect from me!

so vinaayaka chathurthi is a major treat,for my pillayaar will be an epitome of grandeur! thanks to grandpa's decorative skills,the pleasure he takes in bathing the deity to dressing him up majestically. those days when i used to go from one place to another to get the best "umbrella" and a cute clay-idol (with the beads fixed neatly as eyes) are still etched in my memory canvas.of course,till recently,kozhukattai was only home-made and not sold at sweet shops.i gobble half of what is made at home!

with prayers,thanks-givings,pooja,kozhukattai,and silent deals with HIM(?!!) it's a special day for HIM,or should i say, for me? ;-)

நாம் ஒன்று தொடங்க
நலமாக நடத்திடுவான்
நாள் எல்லாம் நமக்கு
நாயகன் துணை வருவான் !

happy b'day ganesha! thanks for all that you've given me,still giving me,and hopefully more in store!

yuck muck sick choc!!

today i had been out with my friend.with no good eatery nearby,we got inside a bakery just for a time-pass eating,just a little hungry.we saw a 10 yr old boy taking the orders with no elderly person around.stop! my post isn't about child labour though i felt bad for that kid.it's about something much more that i couldn't tolerate!

trivia:- i love chocolate in any form- be it hersheys,kisses,dairy milk,cakes,milkshakes,brownies,ice-cream(less preferred),choco-nuts,funshakes,creams,desserts,chocolate-flavoured milk,choco-biscuits.....anything that's good chocolate!

trivia might have hinted you on what i ordered at the bakery-yes,a simple chocolate cake.my friend,quite diet-conscious[;)] ordered a mango drink-SLICE( oh my my! why didn't i?!!) i explained how chocolate was the perfect thing for the day.neatly cut into 4 pieces that boy gave it to me in a paper-plate.i rested myself on the cushions and... and...unfortunately had the first bite!!

where were my taste-buds?sweet was to be detected at the tip of the tongue,if i remember my primary-school biology right.ok..let me wait..no..absolutely tasteless!! oh this is just a whole lump of maida man!! filled with that brown coating of..yuck!cocoa i guess..bad cocoa..i will never ever say that it tasted bad,for there was absolutely no taste in it! it's not at all worth the Rs.10 i paid! i opted for the cherry on top..lo! that was sick! mucky creamy layer on top!

i could see my friend happily finishing the last drop of SLICE. i still had that lump to finish.i had so much hopes that at least every next bite would be better.. i fled the place gulping lots of water to get rid of the cocoa(pls don't call it chocolate) from my mouth! my friend couldn't suppress her snicker seeing my pathetic state... poor me:(:(

back home,i still don't feel any taste in my tongue,with that tinge of that yucky flavour still around my mouth.brushed twice,mouth washed once and feeling slightly better now.hope the dinner isn't affected !

lessons learnt:
1. don't try chocolate-flavoured anything at new places.
2.don't wait for the last crump to taste good.

BUBBLES!

Far away form the world

nearer to my soul

floats through gently

my bubble of life!

encircling my joys

engulfing my sorrows

evaporating my troubles

enduring my pains

genuinely,gently

floats through eternally

my bubble of life!

the colours that you see

inside my bubble

show the dreams i weave

slow and subtle

multicoloured myriad sphere

oh my bubble is here!

blow not!

break not!

beautifully beaming

bright and ripe

floats through gently

my bubble of life!

WHY?

why do some people influence our lives so much that they become indispensable?

why do we feel light at heart on talking to some people?

how are some people able to bring "CRYING SMILES" and "LAUGHING TEARS" in us?

why do we get reminded of someone special on hearing few songs?

why do we feel that we never spoke what we intended to,even after talking more than hour,to few people?

why is our face all brightened up when our phone beeps with a message of that special person?

why do we get excited on meeting few people after a long time?

why is it that a single person was occupying your mind while reading this post? :-)

and at last...

why are you smiling to yourself now?:-)

surprise! an alter ego?

it's not always that you find someone who is almost your replica.that's what this post is about.as a friend of my friend's blogger-friend(??!?),i came across her-her blog.i was surprised to see in her blog,the photos of jawaharlal nehru academy of research where my uncle had been,some time ago.as i proceeded with her posts,more surprises stunned me! she almost matched me in many things-character,tastes,likes(save quiz),dislikes,passions,attitude,way of thinking,handling situations,gosh academics too! she is UTTARA.

i guess i'll be completely opposite in looks(from what she has told) but the most wonderful part is i could relate myself to every damn thing she has mentioned,just the place and time varied!i opened my big eyes wider and read through!believe me, i've started visiting her blog regularly now.

hope i'm not one of those billoins of blue blistering banacles!(?) ;-)

this makes a nice post for being the 25th post isn't it?:-)

HAPPY FRIENDSHIP'S DAY!

we all enjoy being with friends.yes,friends are the best things that can ever happen to us.the only relationship that is not got by chance,but by choice.it's so unique,so precious,so beautiful,so lovely,that we forget it's importance sometimes.we totally forget how blissful we are all to be surrounded by so many friends who make our lives lively.

thanks to all friends,

who make me smile,laugh,love and live.

who make me shout,cry,whine and fight.

who teach me how wonderful life is,how exciting i can make it.

who have always been with me,and still continue to support me,bear all my non-sense,guide me and more importantly,

LOVE ME UNCONDITIONALLY!

i was all smiles with all your wishes! you people make my day,everyday!

celebrating friendship...

HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY!

vetti verses!

people call him a terror,
nay,he is merely an error,
finds fault in all that he sees,
oh come on,grow up please!

he tries his best to instill fear,
that wont last anyway here,
talks and breathes crazy rules,
mockery?we are not fools!


he talks on modulation,
then follows demodulation,
he goes on about phase,
never does he see my sleepy face!

proceeds with the slides on,
as he switches the lights off,
sitting in the middle,among a three,
i can sleep very well,free!

he wants us to sit upright,
i droop down on the table straight,
often he asks,if we got his point,
my head aches,so does every joint!

after all the yawns and sleep,
with a dreamy mind,slowly i find,
the purpose of life though little weary,
is surely not communication theory!

------------------------------------

P.S 1.scribbled during the time when all the computers conked in DSP lab and as usual i was jobless!
P.S2.:-rhyming is thrust forcefully,
i (don't)call it poetry!

சங்கமம்

விட்டுச் சென்றால்

வெறுப்பேன் என்றும்

கனத்த மனதோடு

அழுவேன் என்றும்

உன் நினைவுப் பிடியின்
விசைஈர்ப்பு வீச்சில்

சிக்கித் தவித்து

சிறகை இழந்து

வீழ்வேன் என்றும் நினைத்தாயோ?

வெற்றுப் பாதையில்

வெறுமையாய் வீற்றிருக்கும்-என்

வேர்கள் இல்லா

மரங்களின் நிழலில்

என்னை நானும் காண்பேன் !

பேச இயலாத் தருணங்களில்

பேசிக்கொண்ட மௌனங்களின்

பெயரைச் சொல்லி

எனக்குள் நானே

புன்னகை செய்வேன் !

பூத்துக்குலுங்கும் புதுமலர் போலே

புதிதாய்த் தினமும் பிறப்பேன் !

வாழத்துடிக்கும் மனதினுள்

வாழ்த்தை நானும் விதைப்பேன் !

உன்னுடன் கழித்த நேரங்களை

உன்னுடன் களித்த பொழுதுகளை

மெலிதாய் எண்ணி

மெதுவாய்ப் பருகி

என்னை நானே உயிர்ப்பிப்பேன் !

நாவின் நுனியில்

நின்று அடம்பிடிக்கும்

சொல்ல நினைத்த எண்ணங்களை,

சொல்ல முடியா ஏக்கங்களை

எனக்குள் நானே விழுங்குவேன் !

சிதறிப் போனச் சுவடுகளை

அள்ளி எடுத்துக்

கட்டி அணைத்துக்

கொஞ்சி முத்தமிட்டுக்

கொஞ்சமாய் நானும் மகிழ்வேன் !

இப்படித்தான் !

ஒவ்வொரு நாளும்

சங்கமம் ஆவோம் !

நீ விட்டுப் போன நானும்

நான் விட்டுக்கொடுக்காத நீயும் !!

TAGGED!

prasaanth,MAVEN....am I??? , has tagged me! my first tag!

5 things i hate about being in a private college:

1.it's not got that so-called brand name of a GOVT. COLL!! simple.especially when people ask u,"anna university la en serala?" i feel like replying,"oh ya i was offered and i refused!"
2.I'll have just 20 marks for internals,but they seem to be a huge stuff for the amount i have to slog every mon and fri,to catch up with those 7,7.5...(non-ssn'ites,details later!)
3.I've to bother about what the examiner wants from my paper(about which i still have no clue)compared to govt. coll students who know what their prof wants.come on,they have internals externals,everything by their own prof!
4.there are no grades.it's absolute percentage.i slog and end up with 80%,feel elated,jump with joy,only to be asked by govt.college students,"oh so you are an 8-pointer?"mind you people these are the marks which i worked for and personally earned,unlike those in the govt.college who enjoy an 8 or 9 because it's relative!
5.lastly,the fees.it's nearly 3 to 4 times that in a govt.college

need i say more?



5 things i like my computer for:

1.i can save every damn thing in it.it knows i can never keep my documents safe in my study,and keeps them in "my documents"
2.music!just play it on the comp and do anything anywhere in the house,easiest entertainment.
3.it does not complain that I've not cleaned it for the past....err....8 months?(!?)
4.inetrnet!chat,browse,search..for anything from CAT papers to tickets at satyam!
5.simply,because it's BLACK in colour!

5 reasons why i like to come to INSTINCTS.
1.inauguration! those 15 minutes of presentation that makes me proud to be an SSN'ite!
2.no classes!!
3.celebrities!come on,meeting Maddy,singer harini,sriram parasuram...it's not a daily affair right?:)
4.FUN! with lots of people at coll,friends,frolic.
5.come home real late,may be around 11 pm!
P.S.:-INSTINCTS is my college cultural:)

5 good great(?!)things i have done in life:

1.I've been a regular donor at the UDAVUM KARANGAL run by Mr.vidyakar.i love to save up little by little and finally give it for charity!
2.I've learnt the art of laughing at my mistakes
3.I secured AIR 7 in my tenth standard cbse exams.(the last time i ever achieved in acads!may not be a big deal,but still i cherish my medals !clap clap!)
4.I've been an active member of few awareness camps which ended pretty successful.
5.I've successfully(?)completes 2 yrs of engineering.this deserves a huge applause(hint)

P.S:-this particular question made me ponder a while.thanks prasaanth!

5 reasons why i want a re-birth in the same place:

1.i love my family and friends here.
2.the little patriot in me jumps on hearing INDIA!
3.I'm used to being comfortable,the way i am now(oh ! silly!)
4.not any other family or place can tolerate me,or bear me!
5.i won't remember this place in the next birth. so let it be the same!

DONE!
i tag:
swathipriya
of course,prasaanth!

walk with me!

show me the road to happiness,

that gives me joy and pleasure

show me the road to life,

that gives me pain,love and forgiveness!

talk to me!

about you

about me

about us

show on me,

your anger,your helplessness,

your irritation,your impatience,

i may not be a cure

but surely a relief!

share with me
your feelings,your joys,
your problems,your sorrows,
i may not give a solution,
but surely a ear and a shoulder!



















every action
begins with a single thought!
every journey
begins with a single step!

that's why i say,
on the lonely shores
on the steamy sands
on the familiar paths
on those delightful days
on those misty nights

walk with me!

எதிர்ப்பார்ப்பு!

உன்னிடமிருந்து
எதிர்பாரா தருணத்தில்
எனக்கே எனக்காக-இவை
எல்லாம் கிடைத்ததால் தானோ,

உன்
அன்பை
அரவணைப்பை
நட்பை
நெருக்கத்தை
குறும்பை
குறுஞ்செய்தியை
அழைப்பை
நம்பிக்கையை
வாழ்த்தை

எதிர்பார்த்துத் தோற்றேன்!

The tissue tale

"Do we get tissues here?" i went to that supermarket recently.this is what i asked the lady at the counter.she directed me to another lady who took me inside.
she-"Yes ma'am"
me-''i need tissues"
she-"which size?"
me-"normal medium size"
she-"what kind of tissues?''
me-"wet tissues''
she-"is it for your baby?"
me-"????" whaaaattttt??"
(.....hey did i hear her properly?or am i looking too old?my freinds tell me i have this PYT{petite young thing}look,could they be wrong?am i wearing that ॐ tops or that khadi kurta that shows me little fat?NO!! ..)
she-"no no,i was asking whether u need tissues for any baby at home"
me-(grr......)"i said i need wet tissues for me!!"
she-"oh ok!here they are"
...and she took me to that shelf of tissues.
she-"which fragrance do u want ma'am?''
me-"it's ok I'll take care"
she-"no,we have rose,mint,aloe vera....and.."
me-"that's nice..i'll see to it"( oh my lady you thought i had a baby!!!grr.....how mean!)
yes! sindhuja has patience(or tolerance?)courtesy,proper public behaviour(i didn't yell at her for asking about baby,did i?),self control of anger!
i paid,returned home,made my mom laugh with the story.
thus ends the tissue tale!

புதியதோர் உலகம் செய்வோம்

அழகாய் அன்பாய் அளவாய் அமைந்த
வளமும் வாய்ப்பும் வாழ்வில் நிறைந்த
பண்பும் நட்பும் தொழிலும் வளர்ந்த
புதியதோர் உலகம் செய்வோம் !


இனிமை சூழ இன்பங்கள் வளர
கண்ணீர் குறைந்து தண்ணீர் நிறைய
நிலம் நீர் காற்றும் நிம்மதியாய் உறங்க
புதியதோர் உலகம் செய்வோம்!

கலைகள் பலவும் கனிவாய் வளரும்
கல்வித் தரமும் உயர்வாய்ச் சிறக்கும்
எண்ணங்கள் யாவும் தூய்மையாய் இருக்கும்
புதியதோர் உலகம் செய்வோம்!

போர்கள் இல்லா அமைதி நிலைக்க
பாரில் பலப்பல சாதனைப் படைக்க
நிலவுக்கும் மலருக்கும் நேரம் ஒதுக்க
புதியதோர் உலகம் செய்வோம்!

விண்ணுக்கும் மண்ணுக்கும் பாலம் செய்வோம்
வீரத்தின் விளிம்பு வரை செல்வோம்
இனியொரு உதயம் பிறக்க வைப்போம்
புதியதோர் உலகம் செய்வோம் !

உளி எடுப்போம்! ஒளி வீச
துளித்துளியாய், மணி மணியாய்,
சிறிது சிறிதாய், அழகழகாய்,
புதியதோர் உலகம் செய்வோம்!

Mirror,Screen or Wall

In the beginning,there was this huge wall between us.a distance purposefully maintained because of new acquaintance.it was you,who started breaking the wall,i played a small role.it all started with a hole,then brick by brick the wall was removed.the distance lessened.then there was just a screen between.translucent?


we knew each other little more,much more.yes,the distance still maintained in its own way.slowly,steadily the screen got removed.then there was just a miorror.a double-sided mirror.i looked at it,i saw you.you looked at it,you saw me.there were many factors that gained strength in replacing the screen,but we were strong.there was no place for a screen.we had a lovely mirror! that's it!that was the lovely period of life.the mirror!


mirrors are brittle aren't they?now there isn't much of outside influence,but the inner self is creating a screen,that's almost ready.yes,translucent,but surely it isn't a mirror now.an unwanted,unexpected screen which has risen due to expectations.paradox?no.it's the reality.it's not my imagination,it's my fear.the feeling of insecurity creeps in.the fear of the screen getting strengthened,that a wall may start as well.the fear of a distance,now not so purposefully, will be maintained.the fear of being afraid!

i'm not doubting you.there's no loss of hope as such.i trust you wholly.i'm afraid,i don't trust myself!it may be an exaggeration in your opinion.but it's more than anything to me.it may not be easy to bring back our lovely mirror,but don't you think it's possible?little by little,the screen has to be removed and the mirror will automatically take its honourable place.
help me prevent the wall from rising.help me to remove the screen.help me replace a mirror.
please!

it was just that!

it was just a short span of time...1.5 hrs?that sounds short when u r with someone whom u like.it's not always that we get to spend time like this,do we?u start something,i reply.i start a topic,u reply.i ask u to talk,u ask me to.finally? it's time up!! i warned u often that we've very less time left.yes,we smiled.we talked.we walked.we laughed.but,was that enough?

time just flies.what did i expect u to talk?what did i want to tell u?i remember nothing.do u think u told me all that u wanted to?i don't know.but sometimes silence speaks lots.just like the other days i've been with you,i found that today too.the silence that wasn't planned.i tried to break it.....with my own silence?sounds silly?not for me!

all that i ask is--why should it end so short?

முதலாவதாய்!

எங்கோ ஒரு மனதில்
ஏதோ ஒரு ஞாபகத்தில்
என் நினைவு தோன்றும்
முதலாவதாய்....

எங்கோ ஒரு தோழி வீட்டில்
ஏதோ ஒரு மூலையில்
நான் கொடுத்த பரிசு நிற்கும்
முதலாவதாய்...

எங்கோ ஒரு வானில்
ஏதோ ஒரு துளியை
மேகம் என் மேல் சிந்தும்
முதலாவதாய்...

எங்கோ ஒரு கரையில்
ஏதோ ஒரு மண்ணில்
என் பாதச்சுவடை
அலை தொட்டுச் செல்லும்
முதலாவதாய்...

எங்கோ ஒரு நாட்குறிப்பில்
ஏதோ ஒரு கையும்
என் பெயரை எழுதும்
முதலாவதாய்....

Up on the terrace

if there is one place which never tires me,it's my terrace.funny? no!terrace is the best place a house can have.mine is a double terrace-neat,big,bright and calm.come,I'll take you there now!

it's the dawn-6a.m.walk up-hey no shoes allowed!barefooted as i enter the terrace,tip-toeing,the cool breeze blows upon my face.there i see those lovely souls.guess who?the pigeons!yes!10?20?50? no!! 100!the whole terrace becomes theirs.as i slowly walk up,they fly with the loudest sound possible.have you heard the loud wind blowing before a rain?something similar.wishing good morning to the sun,i move forward,watching those birds pecking at the grains thrown by myneighbour.and lo!there they fly again!this is the best way to start the day i tell you!

go up on a rainy day.either when it's cloudy,or after the shower,when the ground has quenched its thirst,offering you the coolest atmosphere.(hey remember!no shoes!)that's the way to heaven!

are u happy?sad?confused?whatever be it,terrace is the best place to share your feeling.do you need to think?introspect?calm down your mind?go to the terrace at night.filled with the white light of the moon,nature will be at its best!to those who think this is an utter waste of time,I'm sorry-you're missing something in life.i would say time not spent with moon,stars,wind,pigeons,and of course-THE TERRACE,is the time you've wasted all the while!

so,when was the last time you went to your terrace?

தேடல்

மண்ணுக்குள்ளே தேடு மணிவைரம் கிடைக்கும்

மனதினுள்ளே தேடு உன் திறமை கிட்டும்

கண்ணுக்குள்ளே தேடு கண்மணி தெரியும்

கனவினுள்ளே தேடு உன் இலக்குப் புரியும்

ஊருக்குள்ளே தேடு உத்தமர் பலர் உளர்

உன்னுள்ளே தேடு உண்மைகள் பல உள

உன் கனவுகளும் இலட்சியங்களும் தகர்க்கப்படும் போது

சிதைவுகளுக்கிடையே தேடு

இடிபாடுகளுக்குள்ளே புதைந்திருக்கும்-ஒரு

பொன்னான வாய்ப்பு உன் கண்ணில் படும்

தேடு...தேடு...

தேடிக்கொண்டே இரு

எல்லா இரவும் விடியும்

உன்னால் எதுவும் முடியும்

into little thoughtfulness..

there are times when few words from some people can bring many changes in you,especially when you are close to them.I've realised i now.it's been a long time since i spent time to think.think without haste-about many things,the people around me,their character,how influential words are,how different people interpret my actions,last but not least-about "ME".

it was unusual i didn't get sleep for quite a long time due to my haunting thoughts.am i misunderstanding others or are they? am i wrong or are they?in an unbiased mood,i realised few things.yes!it's time to change,not for others' sake but for my own good.as my friend says-"don't expect anything in life.expectations hurt.when u don't expect anything,every moment is a surprise and every surprise brings happiness"how true! who am i to expect things from others-mainly close ones?is everyone jobless enough to fulfill my expectations?is it a give and take policy?i don't know.sometimes it hurts,it pains.I'm able to understand their point of view clearly.still it hurts..it pains...to think i have been wrong!don't know how far people may perceive the changes in me.

i am happy being just me-but that's not enough.i just can't trespass others' space.it takes time.and time heals everything.if the subtle changes i am undergoing are going to make me calmer,think better and lessen my sleepless nights-i don't mind them!is this a result of a profound thought?yes,may be.have i become matured?i don't know.this whole thing may sound absurd to you.hurt,calm,depressed,happy,upset,emotional,composed,disturbed,silent,confused,clear-all at the same time...
am in a cluster of thoughts!

SUJATHA- a homage

rengarajan,better known as writer "sujatha"passed away recently.an electronics engineer(he developed the EVM!) turned into a writer of diverse issues,is one of my favourite.the best of his works i like are GANESH-VASANTH stories,his SRIRANGATHU DHEVADHAIGAL,dialogues for many movies especially KANNATHIL MUTHAMITTAL and his weekly blog KATRADHUM PETRADHUM in ANANDHA VIKATAN.

he could practically write about anything under the sky-be it a sci-fic or a movie review,short stories,poetry,thriller fictions,question-answer sections,thiruppaavai,world politics,environmental concerns,anything and everything!his portrayal of even the smallest character is deep.his sarcasms are too intellectual!the way he handles each story is simply superb!personally,i like his "vasanth" character in his series.no one can describe such a jovial,naughty,cute,intelligent,sweet,flirt-no.1-character better!sujatha put forth the funny theory,"all iyengars are related"!

he died out of some prolonged illness.a prolific writer is not in our midst now.let's pray for his soul to rest in peace!